Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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