I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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