His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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