I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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