I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
