I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
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My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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