Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
