Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
