Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
