guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
