3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
