i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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