theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
