Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
