I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're a waste of cheezeits
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
