$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
