we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
