Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
