Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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