Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
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[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize