I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
