3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
well, you know. whores of a feather.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
