she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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