My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
