I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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