id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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