another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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