new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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