i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
