Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box