i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.