apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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