Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
