3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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