I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
