I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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