my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
where are my eyebrows?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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