highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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