Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it glows. i had to have it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
