he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
