Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize