You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We're facebook friends in real life
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
