the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
