No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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