watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
