Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
