haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
