sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
