i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
