Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
