Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
