We need to rekindle our bromance
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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