she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
