I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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