I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
