so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
