you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
