like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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