Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
