he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
