I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
