think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
